I used to feel sorry for myself for not being able to read music or knowing a lick about music theory. I think mainly because I missed out on a lot of opportunities that I felt would really define me in Junior High. You know, during those super crucial, awkward years? I remember attending a summer music camp (because I could play just about every woodwind in the band, but that’s only because they all have the same fingerings) and wanting SO desperately to sing in ANY of the choirs. Well, in order to do so you had to pass a sight reading test. It was an awful test! That was probably one of the most miserable moments of my childhood, in retrospect. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so embarrassed in my life. I could feel the teachers embarrassment for me as I struggled to find the next note- not even bothering to pay attention to the time signature! ”You have a nice voice. We’ll post the results later today,” was all they said. Yeah. Big. Fat. No!
Of course now I can laugh at it! Poor thirteen year old Jaren. By golly, she tried!
Let’s skip ahead to 2003. Pasadena, California. Rose Bowl. American Idol tryouts. A line of about thirty tents on the field, and about 20,000 hopefuls doing all sorts of ridiculous scales and licks in hopes of sounding more ‘Christina Aguilera’. What on earth had I gotten myself into??? While I knew in my heart of hearts that I could sing, I realized then and there that it was a different kind of singing. Not one that wanted to be manufactured. Sure, I could attempt to do the licks, but I don’t think it would’ve done “Georgia On My Mind” any justice. (Not a good song to audition with if you’re trying to impress reality show producers, btw.) Then there was the contract they made you sign before auditioning. From what I remember, there was a claus in there stating that you couldn’t release any music within the one year reign of the new ‘American Idol’ if you made the top 100. What?! No music for a whole year if I made it to the top 100? I would DIE! Let’s just say that when it was finally my turn to sing for the producers in one of the thirty tents on the field I suddenly developed a case of laryngitis. Ha!
My point in all of this is that it’s those moments where I struggled the most but somehow made it through that have defined me for the better. Can I read music today? Heck no! I’m HORRIBLE at it. But I don’t feel alone anymore and I can laugh about it. In fact, I feel like the majority of people I work with don’t have formal training. We play by ear and it’s great! It’s like we’re part of a secret, creative society. So don’t feel bad if you don’t have formal training in something but you have the knack for it anyways. Nike, baby. Just do it!